If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is where she sees someone else in an attempt to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used as a buffer to try to help people move on from a real love.

And that will open the lock to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you can still get your real love back.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she wants.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship wane. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After awhile with a rebound man, she’ll start to wonder why she left you.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her ascertain this herself.

· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But leave it at that. She knows the real reason she loves you.

· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

· Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t be disheartened. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.

For more information on how to get an ex back, read TW Jackson’s the Magic of Making Up.

1. You need to decide whether or not you think the relationship is worth saving. While most relationships can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has decided to quit and doesn’t want try anymore, there is little that can be done.

2. To save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving. Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not near enough.

3. You have to pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people confuse the symptoms of the problem as being the problem itself.

 For instance, many people think that infidelity is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, infidelity is a symptom of a deeper problem.  While most people look at infidelity as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.  If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep from cheating on your partner through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

4. Once you identify and start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

5. Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts.  This means both talking about your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.  Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a sign that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are a turmoil.  When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.   Rather it is because they want to improve the overall relationship.

6. Finally, you should come to realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take three steps forward only to take two steps back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears from each of you going forward.  Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship and for more information go here.

The Magic of Making Up

     In order for us to heal our relationship we needed help and we needed to gain a different perspective with the help of relationship self help books and the experts. We had grown so far apart and we had been fighting and bickering with each other for a long time. I new it would have been easier to just walk away from the situation and try to meet somebody new. But that was the easy answer not the right one. I loved this man once and I knew that if we could get love back into our relationship that it would be worth all of the hard work.

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